Experiments In Loving Jessica And Her Name

Jessica Lynn is my wife, and I love her.  That is really good that I got that out into the open and made that point very, very clear.  This whole site is about my love for her and about how much I love Jess – my wife.  It is also an experiment of sorts, I guess.

I really like experiments.  They are fun and make me think about things in ways that I have never been able to before.  I’m not exactly sure what I am trying to experiment with with this little blog, but I know that it has something to do with Jessica and my love for her.

I want her to know how easy it is for me to love her.  She makes it so simple for me and I can’t get over how deeply and madly in love with her I am.  I can’t always show it as I ought, and I don’t always act as I want – but there really is a deep and affectionate love in my heart for Jess.

I remember a long time ago, before we were really together and definitely before I told her that I loved her, I used to call Jess “Jessica.”  It would be the only way I addressed her.  Calling her “Jess” was too familiar for me and I didn’t want to be taking liberties with her name like that.  Her name is something special and breaking the barrier of familiarity with her too soon would have been something that I felt was rather taboo.  A woman’s name is something special.

Names tell you something about the person, nicknames can tell you even more.  Jessica means “God sees” and I have to be honest, God would spend a lot of time looking at this daughter of his.  She is so beautiful, I am sure that God is so full of joy at how wonderfully she images him.  She is patient, she is kind, she is not quick to anger, she does not boast, she is long suffering and bear with many of my wrongs.  She is peaceful.  She is righteous (but not in a justifying before God sense, for that she rests in Jesus for).

So to call her “Jess” – to turn her true name into a familiar one reserved for those closest to her person- was not something I was going to take lightly.  She deserved more honor and respect than that, or so my simple mind thought early in our relationship.

But then once we were “together” this sort of thing continued.  I called her Jessica, and eventually she let me know that this was weird.  Afterall, everyone who was close to her called her Jess so by still calling her Jessica I was creating a distance between use, a barrier that she wanted to have torn down.  I can understand now where she was coming from, but at the time I just thought I was messing things up.

It all worked out in the end and I eventually said, “I love you Jess.”  She love me too by the way, but was waiting for me to say it first because that is what is right.  Let the man lead, it is his role.  I am so glad I said those words and I will say them until the day one of us dies (and probably after the day she dies if she dies first) – I love Jess!