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Jessica Lynn is my wife, and I love her. That is really good that I got that out into the open and made that point very, very clear. This whole site is about my love for her and about how much I love Jess – my wife. It is also an experiment of sorts, I guess.
I really like experiments. They are fun and make me think about things in ways that I have never been able to before. I’m not exactly sure what I am trying to experiment with with this little blog, but I know that it has something to do with Jessica and my love for her.
I want her to know how easy it is for me to love her. She makes it so simple for me and I can’t get over how deeply and madly in love with her I am. I can’t always show it as I ought, and I don’t always act as I want – but there really is a deep and affectionate love in my heart for Jess.
I remember a long time ago, before we were really together and definitely before I told her that I loved her, I used to call Jess “Jessica.” It would be the only way I addressed her. Calling her “Jess” was too familiar for me and I didn’t want to be taking liberties with her name like that. Her name is something special and breaking the barrier of familiarity with her too soon would have been something that I felt was rather taboo. A woman’s name is something special.
Names tell you something about the person, nicknames can tell you even more. Jessica means “God sees” and I have to be honest, God would spend a lot of time looking at this daughter of his. She is so beautiful, I am sure that God is so full of joy at how wonderfully she images him. She is patient, she is kind, she is not quick to anger, she does not boast, she is long suffering and bear with many of my wrongs. She is peaceful. She is righteous (but not in a justifying before God sense, for that she rests in Jesus for).
So to call her “Jess” – to turn her true name into a familiar one reserved for those closest to her person- was not something I was going to take lightly. She deserved more honor and respect than that, or so my simple mind thought early in our relationship.
But then once we were “together” this sort of thing continued. I called her Jessica, and eventually she let me know that this was weird. Afterall, everyone who was close to her called her Jess so by still calling her Jessica I was creating a distance between use, a barrier that she wanted to have torn down. I can understand now where she was coming from, but at the time I just thought I was messing things up.
It all worked out in the end and I eventually said, “I love you Jess.” She love me too by the way, but was waiting for me to say it first because that is what is right. Let the man lead, it is his role. I am so glad I said those words and I will say them until the day one of us dies (and probably after the day she dies if she dies first) – I love Jess!
As I am sure that you all know from the title of this blog that this post and this blog in general is going to be about how I love my wife, Jess. I have been married to her for over a year now and as March 17, 2009 approaches we are approaching out 2 year anniversary! Another key event is going to happen to us very soon – probably sometime with in the first two weeks of November – we are having a baby boy!
We are both so excited about that fact and cannot wait for him to enter the world. I probably think that I am really excited about it because that means that I will get to have some one-on-one interactions with my son that I just can’t have right now. While Jess always gets to hold him, I never do. While Jess always gets to nourish him, I never do. While Jess gets to keep him warm and snugly, I never do. That is all going to change after he is born because then we both to get to do all those things to him!
But I am getting distracted – this blog is about how much I love Jess and as a result I want to include just 15 or so quick little snippets of reasons that I love her:
- She is really, really, ridiculously good looking.
- Her smile makes my day brighter.
- Her eyes make me surge with feelings.
- She is kinder than I am.
- She is wiser than I am.
- She is more thoughtful than I am.
- She is just generally better than me (I really married up in the world).
- Being Native American, her toes and foot structure fascinate me.
- Her hair smells so good.
- I love the way she sleeps.
For those who haven’t read the last post, the whole reason I am writing about the ways that I love Jess is because I want her to be able to go on a computer around Christmas 2008, type in the phrase that this blog is all about, and to find this site.
The reason that I am writing this post right here is that for some reason I was at position 7 in the big G and all of a sudden I got kicked out of the index. This doesn’t make sense to me as this is the only site that I am aware of that is actually only about how much I love Jessica Lynn Mueller. If that isn’t relevant to a search engine than I don’t know what will be.
It could be that I linked to this site from a totally unrelated blog (it was about finance). Maybe that triggered something in the algo that said, “This site seems to be about some guys love for some girl named Jess, but it all of a sudden got this link from a totally unrealted site about finance. This seems like a spammer tactic. *Blast into the Sandbox of Doom*” This turn of events could be devestating for my Christmas gift – uhhhhhhh.
Well, I hope Jess knows just how much I love her even if I fail at this. I mean I could always just say, “Hey Jess, I love you,” but I have a feeling that if I can get my plan to work it would be way awesomer.
I love Jess FTW!